1. Moonrise Kingdom - This film is almost the worst film of 2012. An interminable mess of a film. Wes Anderson needs to stop accepting donations from Louis Vutton.
2. The Dark Knight Rises - I've gone on at length about how poor this film is. Heck, even a quick google search will bring up most of my complaints. But, I guess my main one is that I never thought I'd see a Batman film where it would make The Dark Knight obsolete (seriously, The Dark Knight Rises is just a direct sequel to Batman Begins).
3. Killing Them Softly - I love Andrew Dominik's films. Visually he's one of the most creative directors around. Sure, he's not prolific or anything, but when he does release a film it's great. Killing Them Softly falls on the bad side of good - some moments of this are some of the best work he's ever done, but the other eighty minutes of the film are appalling.
4. The Avengers - How can you turn one of the biggest film franchises into a major dud? The first ninety minutes of this film is some of the worst cinema of 2012. However, the last hour contains one of the best action sequences of the year - and two of the best gags of the year thanks to Hulk.
5. Wish You Were Here - 2012 was a very poor year for Australian cinema. Not for lack of trying though - Not Suitable For Children was probably the best Australian film of 2012. Wish You Were Here is a film which rubbed me the wrong way - if you're six months pregnant, do not go to Cambodia. I'm not saying pregnant women can't travel, just choose where you go a little better ok? Or fuck it, just go to Bali instead. Stupid white people.
6. Brave - I had high hopes for this one. The first Pixar film to have a female lead. Visually this is the best thing they've ever done, story wise it's very minor. Maybe I would react differently if I was a girl, or had a daughter, as I've heard many people say that they felt differently about it because of those reasons. Either way, it's above Cars and Wall-E in terms of enjoyment, but way below Up or The Incredibles.
7. The Innkeepers - I keep wanting to see a good ghost story. But they just don't exist anymore. I don't get Ti West's films. I really don't. I understand minimalistic filmmaking, but The Innkeepers and The House of the Devil take minimalistic to somnabulistic levels. I don't want to almost fall asleep in a film simply because somebody is wandering through a house in the dark - that is not fear. That said, the piano sequence is great.
8. Wreck It Ralph - I liked Wreck it Ralph a lot, it's a fine animated film. And really I'm only having the last three films here to round out the list. I guess for a film about video game characters, I was surprised that they essentially drop the video game element halfway through the film. Seriously, if you came in late and missed the first half hour, you'd struggle to realise it was a film about video game characters. Bring on the sequel though! (But, that said, an anti-complaint is that for a film about video game characters it doesn't fall into the trap of feeling like you're watching a video game).
9. Argo - Argo is ridiculously good, but it's not the same level of Gone, Baby, Gone or The Town. I can't see myself rewatching this more than once.
10. Looper - Looper's in my top 25, and I like it a lot, but I really wish I loved it.
Film I Couldn't Rate:
Take This Waltz
Worst Film:
The Artist - I can't even begin to comprehend the love and admiration for this film. I've been vocal about Crash's win and how Brokeback should have won, we all know that. But at least with Crash, Ang Lee won Best Director. The mere fact that The Artist sweeped the awards and beat out Hugo is beyond me. Hugo is a film which champions film preservation and restoration and respects the history of cinema.
The Artist on the other hand is a film that despises the history of cinema. It constantly throws down the beginnings of cinema and has a pure hate for silent cinema. I honestly can't see how people see this as a love letter to silent cinema at all.
Total Recall - The difference between The Artist and Total Recall is that Total Recall never tried to be a good film. So whilst it's easy to beat up on Total Recall for being a film just to keep Kate Beckinsale in the industry, it's also not as bad or as offensive as The Artist is.
Best Actor 2012
Matthew McConaughey - Killer Joe, Bernie, Magic Mike
Best Actress 2012
Charlize Theron - Young Adult, Prometheus
25. Chronicle
It's slightly disappointing when the best super hero film of the year is a completely original film. But, then again, it's a completely original film which has some amazing characters. It's just a pity that the studios are currently fucking up the sequel.
24. Holy Motors
Having read about Leos Carax a bit further after seeing this I want to rewatch it after I've seen a few more of his films. Definitely one of the most visually impressive films of the year and thematically it's very deep. Also, this has more heart and soul and respect for cinema than The Artist could ever dream of.
23. Cosmopolis
This is minor Cronenberg, but it's still very good Cronenberg. Pattinson proves that he's not a one trick pony. I've said a lot more about this over an argument with my wife over overpriced sausages which I won't repeat.
22. Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
This is the first of the Paradise Lost films that I've watched, and I'm aware that they deal with the crime in different ways. Fortunately enough for Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory it deals with the most recent aspects of the trial and does it in a perfect manner. This is difficult viewing, but very worthwhile.
21. John Carter
I feel so sorry for John Carter, and doubly so for Taylor Kitsch. Disney kinda fucked it over. This is actually a heck of a lot of fun and has one brilliant little fight scene in the middle of it. It's obvious that Disney are still trying to grab money back from this as the Bluray is still $45 months after release. Do yourself a favour and watch one of the most underrated gems of last year.
20. Looper
Rian Johnson is a good director, there's no doubt about that. And the universe that he creates in Looper is great - one where the idea of time travel is plausibly represented. Joseph Gordon Levitt is great as Bruce Willis. I have problems with the film - the ending for example - but overall this is a great sci-fi film.
19. Seven Psychopaths
Seven Psychopaths is almost - almost - on par with In Bruges. Colin Farrell has finally found a director who understands him and can create a brilliant character for him to portray. The in jokes and film jokes in this are great - especially the underwritten female roles. Would work well as a double feature with Rubber.
18. Compliance
I didn't really know the story of this film prior to watching it, and I'm glad I didn't. Dreama Walker is great in her role here, but the best performance is Ann Dowd. A terrifying true story portrayed very well.
17. Kill List
The ending of this film is one of the most terrifying endings in a British horror I've ever seen. A perfect companion to The Wicker Man. If you have a fleeting interest in horror films, then watch this but don't read anything about it.
16. Woody Allen: A Documentary
At just under four hours, this is the most comprehensive article on Woody Allen. Fortunately the fact that the directors had access with Woody makes the film even more interesting. And the mere fact that he's happy to talk about things which you'd think would be off limits - namely, Mia Farrow. After this, it just made me respect him even more and love his sense of humour and cement him as a hero.
15. Headhunters
Alongside Cabin in the Woods, Headhunters is the most tonally uneven film of 2012. It's all over the place. At once it's a heist film, then it's a romance, then it's an all out comedy, and then an action film. Another film where you really shouldn't know anything about it going in.
14. Margin Call
I'm not an economics expert. Margin Call has dialogue which is just economic talk constantly. So it's in its favour that the performances and the story is strong enough to come through the economic talk. Kevin Spacey has never been better than in this. At once it's terrifying in its inevitability of the stock market crash.
13. Bernie
Take away the Before films, and this is Richard Linklater's best film by far. Jack Black also has never been better - and I can guarantee that if he weren't Jack Black, he'd be nominated for an Oscar. Matthew McConaughey once again proves why he's the best actor of 2012.
12. Killer Joe
I will never look at a fried chicken leg the same way again. And for the first time, a film truly has changed my perspective on something. This is nuts, but so brilliantly nuts.
11. The Perks of Being A Wallflower
I was skeptical about this film prior to seeing it. I thought, oh no, not another film about teenager's complaining about being young and unloved. And yes, it is a film about teenager's being young and growing up and the pains of growing up, but it's also the best film about that period of life I've seen since The Breakfast Club.
10. Once Upon A Time in Anatolia
Once Upon a Time in Anatolia is a film which proves that viewing films in a cinema is a must. It's the most beautiful film of the year by far - the stunning vista's, the apple that rolls down the hill, the beautiful darkness. The finale of the film is depressing, but it's depressing in a way which is intriguing and humbling.
9. Prometheus
I saw this film the most last year. I have no doubt that it's a flawed film, but that doesn't matter to me. The mythology of the film - weed smoking scientist and all - is so strong and interesting that I can't not love it. Visually it's beautiful. Noomi Rapace was miscast, but that doesn't stop me from loving her character - a genuinely flawed human. Michael Fassbender is just brilliant as well. Hater's are going to hate, but that doesn't matter, I love it.
8. The Raid: Redemption
I hope that the success of this film educates any director in Hollywood who wants to direct action. The action in this is understandable, well thought out, brutal and most importantly, it feels real. And it's also got a great lead character as well.
7. Hugo
The best 3D film of 2012 by far. It's so nice to see a film director like Martin Scorsese use a device like 3D intelligently. It's also great to see a film which respects the history of cinema and does it in a way that not only entertains, but educates.
6. Beasts of the Southern Wild
Beasts of the Southern Wild has a lot of heart, and it knows how to show it intelligently. Hushpuppy is one of the most fully realised characters in 2012.
5. The Master
It feels funny to be calling such a film like The Master that deals with grand themes as a minor PTAnderson film, but it is. It boasts Philip Seymour Hoffman's finest acting by far, and Joaquin Phoenix is always brilliant. A truly challenging film, but an impressive one none the less.
4. Margaret
Anna Paquin gives the finest performance of her career in this grand epic. I could easily watch this again in a heartbeat. It's challenging, deep and distressing. Allison Janney gives her finest performance - even though she's only on the screen for such a short period of time. Alongside There Will Be Blood, Margaret is a great addition to American Cinematic Literature. I wouldn't be surprised if in decades to come this is more widely discussed as a classic.
3. Young Adult
Thanks to Foxtel, I've rewatched this a fair few times recently and it just keeps on getting better. Charlize Theron's Mavis Gray is my favourite character of 2012. Her cynicism is brilliant. The comedy in this film is spot on and filled with the right amount of blackness.
2. Les Miserables
Just like Prometheus, more people hated this film than loved it. Whether it was their love of the stage musical, or the text, who knows, but Tom Hooper's direction definitely put people off enjoying and loving this film. Which is unfortunate because Anne Hathaway gives the best performance she's ever done, and Hugh Jackman as the heart of the film is astounding. Even Russell Crowe is great as well.
1. The Cabin in the Woods
I'm not going to write a whole spiel about why you should watch The Cabin in the Woods. Just ask you why you haven't watched it yet? This is one of the horror genre's greatest films - and it's even a film which people who don't like the horror genre will love. If you only see one Joss Whedon film from 2012, then sure as fuck watch The Cabin in the Woods.
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